more kung fu monkey news...

From the winner of our first monkey contest, UK blog reader Matt (and your prize CD is in the mail today), come these ape pics from the Shaw Brothers film THE BATTLE WIZARD:

"I've attached a some kung fu gorilla stills from the Shaw Brothers movie Battle Wizard which you might be interested in (I mentioned them in my comments for your first Dirty Apes post). Quality is pretty poor as I nabbed them from my burnt out Arabic (and English dubbed) VHS - but I'm pretty sure the film has been released on DVD by Celestial. Either way, there's got to be better images out there.

No-one comments on the gorilla's apparent kung fu expertise though - perhaps skilled martial arts monkeys once roamed all over ancient China, so it's not a big deal...."

I've only seen the trailer for this one and it looks soooooo crazy! Anyone chime in with comments on this one? I have some downtime coming up this week, so maybe I'll pop this dvd to the top of the pile. Check out the review at kungfucinema.com (where the pics below came from)

The poster and magazine images are via hkmdb.com (three cheers for Ryan and his fabulous reference site!)

I have landed the final fatal blow...

Write ups are done! Procrastination defeated! And the schedule is posted! What is coming soon to the temple that is the Revue Cinema in downtown Toronto? For starters...

image courtesy of The Chucky Lou A/V Club

and if you need some muzik to procrastinate to...

One last thing til I nail these write-ups for the March calendar - let me share this massive and amazing remix project that I discovered on Record Brother's blog, three volumes that adds up to over 4 hours of blaxploitation soundtrack and dialogue! Now there is a soundtrack to write descriptions of bone crunching action! Download, listen, enjoy and drop Record Brother some comments of thanks!

Volume 1

Volume 2

Volume 3

lazy sunday surfing...

I'm at the studio in a fit of procrastination as I should be writing the copy for the next two Kung Fu Fridays. Let me justify it by sharing these two links with you.

Every day or so, I have a number of links bookmarked that I pull up and then browse through for new updates (thanks to the "open in tabs" feature). One of my fave spots to go is earnest little cartoon guy, which is a photographic reference to cool spots. Rather than blather on about the content – as I find myself doing now – he just lets the images speak for themselves. Here are two links that he has turned me on to:


a gallery of photographic images from old Beijing


with the handgun frenzy in Toronto right now, maybe looking at the commerical roots of the issue might help with solutions. here are images of the selling of gun culture through the 20th century. If only the white lotus clan WERE impervious to bullets... (earnest guy link)

read the The Telekino Times-Picayune

Let me briefly introduce a new link over to the right of the page - the blog of Toronto based infotainment guru, Jesse Hawken, The Telekino Times-Picayune. Read about his journey into the Chinatown Dollar Mart, that resides under a now closed cinema that was known in previous incarnations as The Victory Burelesque, The Golden Harvest, The Pearl and lastly, The Mandarin.



Another urban exploration is looking back at the long forgotten cinema housed in the Toronto Dominion Centre in the heart of Toronto's financial district.


And yes, Jesse, is a Kung Fu Fridays disciple and his sifu is Tom Vu.

wow! I have all my limbs and can't do a quarter of what these guys do...

I just got two new additions to my poster collection and have been meaning to pop them up, when up pops a new entry on the WFMU blog to compliment my recent acquistions...

In the mid-nineties I went to NYC and managed to see the last gasp of one of the meccas of kung fu cinema, 42nd Street. Most of the cinemas where closed and had strange artsy fartsy poetry on the marquees, but there were still video shops filled with bootlegs of various grade. The guys in the shops could talk up these films like carny barkers, "You want chess boxing? How about this dope pole fight? You seen Silver Fox yet?"

My tastes are pretty specific so I walked away with a a chinese language camcorder dupe of THE BASTARD SWORDSMAN and a true gem, taped off of a Japanese laser disc(?) ... the Taiwanese cult oddity THE CRIPPLED MASTERS.

Don't get this one mixed up with Chang Cheh's CRIPPLED AVENGERS, which, while fun, pales to the mondo shock of seeing two people with real disabilities whup ass with their kung fu skills! And add into the mix, their teacher, a yoga master who can contort his body into small shapes and hide in narrow baskets! Watching the stars of the film, Sam Chung-Chuen and Thomas Hong Chio-Ming, you can't help but feel like a miserable couch potato as the flip and kick, eventually teaming up as a whirling dervish of martial arts mayhem. Above is an insane German edition poster for MASTERS.

I haven't been able to dig up more information on the film's stars (actually, I don't even know which is which!), but they did go on to do three other films, TWO CRIPPLED HEROES, FIGHTING LIFE and RAIDERS OF SHAOLIN TEMPLE.

Last night I watched a rather heady academic doc on lurid revenge films from Taiwan called TAIWAN BLACK MOVIES that reflects on the social realism of titles like "LADY AVENGER and GIRL WITH A GUN (both of which I have posters and lobbycards for so expect them posted in the future) and lo and behold, one of the directors interviewed was Chester Wong Chung-gwong, the man behind FIGHTING LIFE as well as MY LIFE IS ON THE LINE (which was screened in the Kung Fu Fridays series to great success in January). To see a great clip from FIGHTING LIFE, visit the entry by freeform DJ Brian Turner on the WFMU blog. Does anyone have more info on these two "gifted" actors?

For more information on CRIPPLED MASTERS visit these links:
Stomp Tokyo review (also with the Shaw Brothers CRIPPLED AVENGERS)
Bad Movies.org review (with sound .wav files of clips and a video clip!)
Progressive Boink review
5 Minutes To Live - "Priority Seating: A Brief Overview of the Crippled Kung Fu Film"

Below is the original Taiwan release poster for THE CRIPPLED MASTERS aka THE CRIPPLED HEAVEN (!?)

mystery Spanish poster

and while I am rooting through my image folders, how about this one? The translated title is: "THE FIVE SISTERS OF BRUCE LEE" however, a Babel Fish translation gives sez BRUCE = BRUSH! Yes, behold THE FIVE SISTERS OF BRUSH LEE!!!!!! What chamber of Shaolin teaches you how to kick with heels like that!


2/6/06 - from the comments section comes this observation by Poptique: "This is also known as Five Black Heroines and somewhere I've got an Ocean Shores VHS of it called "Bruce, Kung Fu Girls". Suffice to say, there's no reference to Bruce Lee at any point during the movie - it's a goofy Taiwanese tale of a five strong team of leather-clad ladies taking on a dastardly villainess who’s discovered the power of invisibility. Oh - and they only manage to squeeze them into those crrrazy S&M outfits for a couple of scenes. "

mystery italian poster

Sorry, no contest this time. I came across this poster today while surfing and was wondering what it was for. Italian posters have terrific artwork and I am sure it does not reflect the actual film. Who is the guy on the wall? Spidey Sense Fu! (click on it to see it bigger)

live trailer mash-up

From Toronto based artist Brian Joseph Davis, the man who first told me the Herzog quote I use on this blog, comes "Voice Over", where Davis created a text based on lines from 500 different film trailers, then gave the cut and pasted text to a professional voiceover artist Scott Taylor to read. You can stream Voice Over from this page, or download the MP3 here. I will have to bug him for a source list! Also check out Brian's Ten Banned Albums, Burned, Then Played project.

I have a nostalgic love for the movie ads that played on radio and ignited my overactive imagination as a child. I have been lucky to even find a few on 45 records over the past years with my biggest score being the 45 radio ads for ENTER THE DRAGON, FIST OF FURY and CHINESE CONNECTION. Maybe I will post them in the future... In the meantime, visit Skinny Robbie's blog that features a heaping pile of MP3 files of radio ads for horror films from the 60s and 70s.

a great double bill for a hot date?

Thanks to all who came out for the Kung Fu Fridays show of BLONDE FURY tonight. Any feedback? The humour is a little overwhelming at times, but when the action kicks in, the audience gasps and cheers makes the film! And what about the scene where the Thai leg fighter gets Rothrock's heel buried in his leg and then she starts pouning on his wound! Yeouch!

One of the special things about the Kung Fu Fridays series, is that there is really nothing else like it in this city. Not trying to pat myself on the back, but I feel nostalgic for a time and place that I was unable to enjoy --- being able to see fun kung fu, horror, action and trash flicks in Toronto cinemas in the 70s and early 80s. Growing up in the country didn't offer me much of a chance at that. Seems like the state of cinema in this city has devolved, but that is due to changing home cinema tech and dvd consumerism. Poor rep houses like the Bloor, Paradise and Royal try and show older titles, but the audiences that come out are often disappointing (6 people at FITZCARALDO at the Paradise). Enough of my whining! Let me share a clipping that I found that is topical, especially after I talked to and audience member about MASTER KILLER and sayiing hello to dear friend and zine mentor Hal "Trash Compactor" Kelly...

This clipping is for an old Chinese run cinema at around College and Bathurst in Toronto which is now either a paint or a computer store. Not sure what the date of it is, but maybe 1986-ish? What a double bill!

And of course, Gung Hei Fat Choy! Happy Year of the Dog!

we have a winner!

Thanks for all those who gave my little mini-contest a go! I think the hint was pretty obvious, but I didn't want a total stumper! Here is the answer from "Poptique" aka Matt Richardson from the UK:

"Hmmm - is this Follow That Star or Follow the Star? It's supposed to be a crazy comedy with a bunch of weird bad guys in..."

Matt will be getting a CD compilation of over 50 monkey themed rock and roll, R&B, rockabilly and soul songs compiled from premium giveaways from the Dave the Spazz show on WFMU. Congrats!

And for everyone else who gave it a go or even read the blog posting and wondered, here is a runner-up prize 'cause we want no losers! It's a flash update of a retro computer game posted by the fine masters of visual fu at Transbuddha. However, be warned, the next contest will be a little more challenging!

who's my monkey?

Not sure if I have enough traffic on the site yet, but I have a Hong Kong movie question for any players that want to take it on. Can anyone name what movie the following disturbing picture is from? Hint #1: The director triggered the West's interest in 80s HK film. I'll mail a prize to the first comment with the right answer! (Only one try per person)

the ultimate in kung fu...

I quickly wanted to pop up another post as it looks like I am getting lots of hits after pointing Twitch Film to a link for a silly short film starring Sam Rockwell as Batman.

Above is a newpaper ad from the Toronto Sun circa January 11th, 1974, the glory days for seeing kung fu films in cinemas in North America. An awesome double bill plus a live martial arts demo! Starring Jimmy Wang Yu, BEACH OF THE WAR GODS is pretty fun, but imagine it on the big screen with a rowdy audience!

I took the ad as visual inspiration for the poster below which I designed for one of my early early kung fu film screenings, ENTER THE FAT DRAGON starring Sammo Hung. This was in 1998, when the shows where held on the University of Toronto campus and on a Saturday, before the film series got a regular cinema it could call home. I took the cartoon image of Sammo from the lobbycard for the film. The screening was a success and has been a beloved staple of the cult film experience in Toronto.

The Ultimate Showdown

Behold another animated work of pop cult genius thanks to this wonderful world wide web, a musical tale of the greatest battle to ever occur. And the ditty can be downloaded here.

Kung Fu of the Damn Dirty Apes (part 1)

With all the ape frenzy due to the King Kong remake, I thought I would jump on the chimp bandwagon with a few notes on simians in kung fu films.

Monkeys seem to come up quite regularly in my life. I find them a source of constant amusement but not the point of chasing after those office calendars with chimp faces and human slogans. One weekly monkey detour is the Dave the Spazz show on WFMU, where the DJ spins old R'n'R in a control room full of monkeys. You can listen to old shows in the WFMU archive - check out the great Halloween shows for ghoulish hip shakin'.

And more recent monkey ramblings can be found on the hilarious Ricky "The Office" Gervais' podcast with their segment called "Monkey News".




Ever wonder how good apes are when it comes to kung fu combat? The answer can be found in BRUCE LEE THE INVINCIBLE (aka DIE GELBENAUGEN DES GORILLAS) when Bruce Li aka Chung Tao, meets a guy in a rather ragged and flea bitten costume, who seems to have knocked off a few years in the Shaolin Temple. Li plays a kung fu student who goes to Malaysia to bring to justice a former student who has become a thug. When the love interest is kidnapped, Li and his mentor, Chen Sing (one of the unsung founding fathers of 70s kung fu cinema and also known as "Kung Fu Bronson"), must battle these grappling gorillas.

Sadly, that is the only high point in the film. Of course after much leaping, the apes go down, one with blood foaming from his eyes and the other with his scalp ripped off. And sadly there is NO dialogue like, "Those apes. They know kung fu!" Is there such a film?

Bruce Li always got a bad rap. He wasn't too bad of a martial artist, but shameless producers never let him do his own thing until later in his career, by which time he was tired of being passed off overseas in ads as a Bruce Li imitator.


"You may call me Ho Chung Tao or James Ho. I don't like to be remembered as Bruce Li or Li Hsiao Lung because producers manipulated that for the market-place. I want to be myself."

Sadly, there is not the same pride in being a Bruce Lee impersonator as there is in being an Elvis impersonator. Heck, even a poor Elvis impersonator is embraced! Ho Chung Tao now runs a gymnasium in Taiwan. For more info, visit the Bruceploitation Trilogy. And I found a torrent for the film here.

a few Chuck Norris facts

This has been buzzing around the internet lately, but worth reading for a good laugh.

I bet you didn't know THESE facts about Chuck Norris. Facts such as:

"Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

"Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky"."

If you don't care for Chuck Norris, just sub in "Sonny Chiba" for any mention of Norris and it works pretty darn well! Visit here for more facts.

soundtrack to an ass whupping

Okay, here is an honest to goodness kung fu related post. Get it while you can, as the link might expire, over at sounds of champaign, where you can find obscure lounge and soundtrack albums posted, the original sountrack for FIST OF FURY! And not just the run of the mill musical soundtrack - this has sections of dialogue from the English dubbed release including lots of screaming, hollaring and smashing! GO BRUCE!!! What a rarity! Thanks to number 6 for posting this!

a fist with no name...

Before turntable specialists like DJ Shadow (see previous post) made sampling an artform, the Hong Kong film industry beat them to it liberally lifting scores from other films and splicing them into the soundtracks of chop socky flicks. When watching fu flicks you can hear looped snippets of John Barry (007), the Imperial theme from Star Wars and of course, Ennio Morricone and other Italian western soundtracks.




That leads us to the great collection of Spaghetti Western soundtrack compilations that Kung Fu Fridays friend Klaus Kinski Jr. has posted over at his blog. Curious about classic Spaghetti Westerns? Obviously, check out the Sergio Leone classics, but also try and watch DJANGO, as recently reflected on at Menooshea's blog, THE GREAT SILENCE, COMPENEROS or RUN, MAN, RUN for starters. There are loads of them out there, but not all are worth attention, plus many are unavailable in North America, like my personal fave, FACE TO FACE. And sadly, there has not been a release of FISTS OF SHANGHAI JOE aka THE DRAGON STRIKES BACK, the cover above, one of the kung fu/spaghetti western crossovers like RED SUN or THE STRANGER & THE GUNFIGHTER. Ahh, poor SHANGHAI JOE. One can only hope...

foxy 70s ladies and their fu

I have journeyed back to the land of comic books following a long hiatus after reading recommendations on BIGFOOT and DOOMED from Bookgasm. The trip to Toronto's best comic book store, The Beguilling, provided me with two more tips for SHAOLIN COWBOY and DOC FRANKENSTEIN, but more on those later. Plus, I have found a great site, Datajunkie, with high quality PDF scans of lurid 70s comics with horror, sci-fi and even giant monster titles! I like reading comics, not hoarding them in plastic bags and this site gives me access to the forbidden fruit that my parents would not let me bite into when I was a kid!

Now my next order is for this one shot, a reprinting of DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGONS, a strip that appeared in the last issues of Marvel's DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU. Don't recall it and I only read a few issues of that mag back in the day, but it looks intriguing, a spin on ENTER THE DRAGON, but with hot kickin' ladies! Created in 1977, the panels seem fresh with the inspirations coming from the kung fu and blaxploitation cinema craze of the day. And again, I read it at Bookasm. Visit this link for great scans of the old covers like the one at the top of this posting.

Are you ready to get your guts kicked out?

I was planning on posting this up earlier, but I got around to pimping up my template. Check out the snazzy side banners for the next two Kung Fu Friday screenings. And thanks to author and friend Brian Davis for pointing the Herzog quote to me. On to the post...

Recently stumbled across this song by DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist off of their collaboration Brainfreeze which uses an old radio ad for a film that I have on Super 8 digest. What a great excuse to scan in the box. Okay, crappy art, BUT that tagline! Yikes! Never really went to a film looking to see someone get a deep intestinal kick, but I guess audience expectations in the 70s were different. I did threaded the film through the projector, but don't recall it being anything special. It was interesting to see a 70s kung fu film in B&W. Felt like I was watching my parents' old Hitachi set.

And of course, I MUST share the song with you. Click to listen or download, etc...

I also scanned two other Super 8 Digests and plan to share those in the near future. Enjoy the tune!